TheMelvynShane- milfs never looked so good in chocolate wrappers

2009-10-01T10:11:00.001-07:00

Beloved readers. I apologise for the lack of updates. Been busy preparing for my SPM trials off late. I'll try my very best to update once every fortnight.
Thank you for understanding. And...

I Love Ya'll So Much.
Totally!

2009-09-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

What ever happened to the good ol' school days? You know, the ones where students were treated with equility, love, care and respect. We all surely have witnessed how much the quality of schools and their staffs have deteriorated over the years. Its shitty to the extent that teachers are the ones provoking students now, not the other way around. Honestly, how many of you students are discontent with your school rules? School rules are the essential ingredients to form a top notch school, no shit. Every school standing has their own sets of rules. Rules may be rules, but some of the rules are just mundane and downright fucked up. I personally believe that students have all the right to express themselves in their dress code, hairstyles, albeit uniforms are a must. Here are my list of School Rules which I think, should be scratched off the record books and be it shoved up someplace where the sun dont shine. Period. Rest easy that Im not directing this post to any school that feels that I am. So dont sue me, for I am just sharing my thoughts. Freedom of speech havent you heard?

#8 Having an assembly in a fixed location every morning
Why I think this rule is fucked up? Gosh, do you know how much time is wasted when people starts going upfront and flap their gums about boring stuff that dont matter. The best part is, I guarentee that the students dont give a hoot about it too. So why waste so much time? For your info, getting the whole school to assemble at one spot may be diabolical. Why so? what if a bomb comes out of nowhere and hits the assembly spot? You cant be that selfish to sacrifice everybody can you? On a more serious note, students studying in private schools pay alot for their education. More than 10k a month? or so? Come to think of it, the school rule makers arent shit heads at all. Instead, their crafty shitheads. Wasting students money for their own sake and getting the benefit by cutting their teaching time by a whopping 20 minutes. CRAFTY!

#7 Lining up outside of classes before entering
Are you fucking kidding me man? The recess bell rings, and students are supposed to enter the class to continue lessons right? But no, shitheads of schools once again come up with a wicked ploy to nick every penny from our so called bottomless pockets. Id understand if this rule applies to the kindergarten kids, but teens like us? This is worse than animal cruelty. Again this is an example of power abuse. Students not only lose study time, but also dignity. Who knows? it may be a fun thing for shitheads to watch us be treated like circus animals. One day, I know justice will prevail.

#6 Classic Monday Assemblies
This is a compulsory activity for any school around. And hey it used to be tolerable. As the years go by, Im sure the procedures have changed a little . That goes for every school. Students used to sit on chairs. Now they sit on the dirty floors. Wheres the sense in that? Students of the private schools especially. They paid this much for being in comfortable surroundings, not being treated like jailmates. Fuck ya'll seriously. Not only that, the length of speeches seem to have extended. Extensions are good. But listening to the same crap day in, day out... THATS shit. Im sure everybody has patience. But going through mundane 40 minute speeches is just too much to handle. Does it pleasure them to talk much? Lack of stage time I suppose? Why dont they just take the money they cheated and set up a stage somewhere they can enjoy. Period.

#5 Confiscating... BOOKS!
Schools have the right to confiscate students belongings that they deem unsuitable, sure. But there are certain schools that confiscates books and re-sell them for a fixed Price. LAUGH YOUR ASSES OFF LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, for this is no joke. Yes, confiscating books, and re-selling them. Hey, I know money is important. But why not EARN it? rather than doing it in a blackmailing manner. Shame on all you involved. You bring shame to the next 5 generations of your family. Boo!

#4 Barring students from using facilities
Ok, this is another classic one. Schools have facilities thats for certained. But there are schools which are selfish and disgraceful. They put a padlock the size of Texas on the entrance of the school field, hall, Music room, basketball court, tennis court, etc and prevent students from using them. Limiting students to the bloody useless compounds. Is this their moneys worth? I dont think so. Jai Ho.

#3 Food and its consequences
All Schools have canteens. In case you dont know what canteens are, its a place where we eat. And yeah, in some schools, the canteen is like their Betty Ross, and they are the Hillbilly Jims. I still dont get how that equation works out though. Anyway, in some schools, students are only allowed to consume food from the Canteen, NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. And if students are caught having food not from the canteen, they would be prosecuted. Im talking about suspension and expulsion here. Funny thing is, theyd rather suspend you for food, than suspend you for your disciplinary misjudgments. How is this not dumb?

#2 They are the judge, jury and prosecutor of your hair
As students we have to model a short and conservative hairstyles, in order to keep ur ass in school. Schools are famous for giving "ruler cuts" . Those who dont know what that is, its when they play with your hair a little bit, tickle your scalp, flirt with your dandruff then pull out their scissors ( this is the best part) then pull out a ruler, and measure ur hair. LOL. Well if your hair exceeds a certain length, they would butcher it alive. At the end of the day youd be looking like Napoleon Dynamite with the hair to go.

#1 Boys and Girls
This is number 1 because its the most, outragously dumb one. Schools are becoming sensitive nowadays. Too sensitive. Like for example, a guy and a girl cannot, I repeat, cannot stay in the same classroom together when no body else is around. This is bullshit? What do they think we students are? Prostitutes and Gigolos? talk about indirect descrimination. Plus, sexists. I dont know why I said that. haha. Anyway, what if a teacher, both of the opposite sex, are together in the staff room with no body around? you're gonna tie them up on the string and drown them too? you know, like the olden days in the Tang Dynasty where they drown tied up couples because they think are having an affair. Off limits man. Sometimes, you've gotta learn to live and let live. Good will come out of it too. Gosh, this isnt a way to uphold anything. The only thing these rules can uphold, is your droopy balls. Deal with it. Students who experience this torrid abuse, I feel for ya'll, totally.

Im really lucky, know why? Im studying in a great school. A school which I personally think is the best of the best of the best. With the guidance of a great principal, my school will be going great heights. The school Im studying in do not have all these problems. The students love the teachers, teachers love the students. You get my point. The rules of my school are very efficient. Moreover, the school Im studying in now, cares for all the students, that includes me.
I love my school!!!

2009-09-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Ghosts. Do you believe in them? Old people of the golden years have their way of interpreting their version of the story, ultimately causing the younger generation to suffer from believing their stories fully. 90% turn out to be urban legends or old housewives stories anyway. But not to worry, for this post will guide you step by step. On how to handle supernatural situations, Boogeymans, and Ghosts. Well, if you follow these steps, Im pretty darn sure Ghosts would be the least of your worries. Literally.

First things first. Ghosts have hiding spots. Where? Just keep on reading. Dont be surprised by what you see... For everything here is, FOR SHIZZLE OF THE HIZZLE MY NIZZLE ( it means real)
Under your bed.

In the kitchen. Ghosts are famous for being hungry. SO yeah.

In the refrigerator. Hey, they love cool places too ya know.

In the School Bus.

In the toilet bowl. Seriously, next time you wanna take a dump, think twice. Pretty uneasy having a pair of eyes staring at your cornhole now innit?

At the Playground. Most of the children you see there on the daily basis, 50% of them are actually dead . No Joke.

The television. Moral of the story: Dont watch too much TV. Or Samara will get you.

And now the moment you've been waiting for. Steps you HAVE to take to prevent all these 'Ghosts' from harming you.

#1 Dont simply fart.

#2 Eat your Vege

#3 Apply Deodorant everywhere you go.

#4 Brush your teeth before you go to bed.

#5 Drink more water. Now you know why parens have been nagging us all these years. Not because of bloody health reasons, but GHOSTS.

Lastly... Support Manchester United. Popular fan base ma.. that includes the after world. SO im absolutely certained that they wont harm an MU fan :)

Follow those steps and You are GHOST FREE!

2009-09-23T03:18:00.000-07:00

Barney. The dinosaur who brought us the corny song that goes

a lil smth like " I love you, You love me, we are happy family...well you know the rest :) " He made growing up fun didnt he? A person in a purple dinosaur suit making a fool out of himself on National television for us? Thats the ultimate sacrifice for mankind. Period. But who is the guy wearing the suit? Is it a he/she? I have no idea, and I keep wondering. Till today. How can one breath in that thing anyway?

Judging by this picture... hmm what do you think?

9x ASP World Surfing Champion Kelly Slater? nah.. cant be.

Judging by this one... He looks alot like a pornstar doesnt he?

He could be Ron Jeremy. ( For ya'll who dont know who this is. Google him )

Nah... It cant be Ronaldo.

No comment. But I dont think so .
Personally, I think Barney is a badguy. I think Barney is a Nazi. Dont be fooled by his expressionless face kids. Cuz this is who he really is.

at least this is what i think? What about you? what do you think? Who is the real Barney?

No Comment. LOL.

2009-09-22T02:12:00.000-07:00

And the Winner of the All American Rejects Ticket is.........

ASHLEE

congratulations, whoever you are :)

2009-09-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

For most of you die hard fans, you prolly know that The All-American Rejects are coming to perform here in Malaysia. We all prolly seen it in the television commercials anyway. Passes/Tickets are pretty easy to get. Just send in ON MUSIC to 2000, then go to the nearest Digi counter. Well, for those who needs a ticket or an extra one, heres your chance to get it.

Here's the catch. To win this, you would have to tell me whats her real name. How? simple. Just type your name and message with the answer on the yellow cbox on your left.

What are you waiting For?

Whats my real Name?

2009-09-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

His records may have gone platinum, but singer Chris Brown was wearing fluorescent orange to pull weeds. The disgraced 20 year old RnB star began serving 180 days of community labor at a police horse stable for beating up his ex-girlfriend Rihanna. Brown wore a red cap, work gloves and a fluorscent orange vest over a white 'wife-beater' t-shirt - in contrast to the designer suits he's accustomed to.

The California judge who sentenced Brown in August granted his request to do his community labor near his home in Richmond after receiving assurances from Virginia officials that he would be doing hard work. Brown's schedule will be flexible and include assignments like washing government cars, picking up trash and cleaning up graffiti. Besides doing roadside work, Brown also must undergo a year of domestic violence counseling.

The singer pleaded guilty in June to felony assault stemming from an incident in February in which he hit, choked and threatened to kill Rihanna after leaving a pre-Grammy Awards party in LA.

He's your celebrity cleaner. Dont be surprised if you see him scooping the turd out from your school's sewage system. Thats Superhuman.

2009-09-18T09:08:00.003-07:00

Ever wondered why girls of the society nowadays like to flirt?
Ever seen your mommy flirting with the mailman or the pizza delivery guy?
Seen your sister flirting with the high school football star?
Well, TheMelvynShane is here to help you in ur quest for Answers, answers, asnwers.

I looked up wikipedia, well the results there are kinda well... Long winded as I would say.
Wikipedia says: People flirt for a number of reasons. It is often used as a means of indicating interest and gauging the other person's interest in a relationship. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex. In other situations, it may be done simply for amusement, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.

From my point of view, its simple. Girls flirt, because...

They think being around boys and touching them is impressive

They give the boys compliments, and because they want to hear compliments being made about them too. Like for example: "Ohhh you have nice facial hair. You shave often?" * starts touching* or "hehe, Im cute? aww.. dont say that.. Youre cute too" (k)

Because they are obsessed with handsome guys.

To show their "frenemies" the level of their influence.

Well, flirting is one thing. But over a period of time, effects of flirting would start to show.

Your friends start to abandon you/ turn on you.

you lose the trust of people who care about you.

You get voted as the schools Drama Queen, not because youre really a drama queen. because youre a bitch. deal with it.

A break up or a divorce.

35% chance of becoming the campus hooker

So girls. Dont be naughty.

2009-09-17T05:07:00.000-07:00

Diving in modern day football is increasing at an alarming rate. Players who often take a tumble when opponents barely give contact. This is fucking serious ya'll. Its spoiling the beauty of the game. So often its the big names who pull the diving act. Search youtube for " Soccer Dives " and this man's face would appear at every damn column you see. Heck, you can even google it. Look up the soccer dictionary for diving, and you will have none other than...

Cristiano Ronaldo- Worlds wussy of the Year

He takes diving lessons ever since he was 3. Hell, he almost made the cut for Portugals Olympic Diving Team... but somehow he discovered that it was better off putting his diving talent to good use in the form of football. Joga Bonito to that nut sacks.

While other players are training at the field, Ronaldo trains here.

" I dont think that there's anything worse than a player diving when theres no one's been anywhere near him. I does ruin the game " - Steven Gerrard.

FUCKING HYPOCRITE.

2009-09-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

Twilight fanatics, aka Twilighters. As ya'll know, the second installment of the Twilight saga, New Moon is coming out real soon. While all the hype is about " New Moon", Rumours have it that the main characters of the twilight/NewMoon would not be returning for the third installment, Eclipse. Soooo, here are the replacements.

Samuel L. Jackson as Edward Cullen

Jack Black as Jacob Black

(He can really make it as a wolf. LOL)

Amy Winehouse as Isabella Swan

Lady GaGa as Alice

Jonas Brothers as Emmet, Jasper and Carlisle

Sounds really wicked! cant wait! OMG. Im so hyped!

I can foresee a summer blockbuster in the making.

See you at the Premiere!

2009-09-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

What ever happened to the old Avril Lavigne? The punk rocker/skater chic?

I used to love listening to her songs. I used to be a fan. Gosh Avril, why are you so damn bimboistic now? After her fairytale wedding to this jackass frontman from Sum 41, Avril's career started freefalling, faster that you can say Alberquerque. She even sunk so low that she her concerts werent even selling right, and was some sort of a back up in the Jonas Brothers concert.

Acting like a 13 year old schoolgirl. Damn you Avril.

You're a Mess.

a food baby? or the product of Derryck Whibleys semen.

Good Luck girl.

Alcohol + Kanye = VMAs

2009-09-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

Im pretty sure most of you have already went on youtube and witnessed the bad ass scenario Kanye West has caused to date. Yes. Kanye West, the bloke who revolutionized the infamous quote " George Bush doesnt care about black people." haha... still gets me every now and then.

so whats the damage this time? Taylor Swift scored an upset victory at the VMAs and that caused Kanye to be a little cranky.

"Yo Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish, but Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!," -- Shouldve seen the look on poor Taylor Swifts face... aww :(

All good things come to an end. The "apology" on Kanye West's blog. He sounds kinda tipsy dont you think? Well, at least he apologized.

BOOOYAWWWW to that Kanye.

One of the better VMAs nonetheless. Thank you Kanye, for being Kanye. Who knows whats gonna happen at the next VMAs.

lol... I hope not.

2009-09-14T02:18:00.000-07:00

Swept away onto a remote island somewhere on earth.

its Survival of the fittest. Who do you think will survive this draining ordeal?

would it be...

Miley?

Paris?Borat?The terminator?

or Phua...

fairly odd intro

2009-09-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

greetings beloved readers. Im back where I belong, after a near-3-month hiatus. Im feeling more grown up already. What can we do in the space of 3 months? nothing much. Maybe a little bit of here and theres, but it all points back to the same fucking place now doesnt it. haha. Oh that reminds me... my happy trail needs some trimming. Any specialised barbers to recommend? lol . I highly recommend teens who are experiencing hormone imbalance to try hanging on the monkey bars right-side up while singing Auld lang Syne. Totally effective ftw... On a more seriouser note,

The exam that seems to be the biggest fucking deal to every parent who gives a damn here in this beloved nation is faaaaaast approaching. How long more do we have? 2 months or less? Well if youre seeking advice from me on what to do, Ima tell you in the form of T.I's wonderful lyrics.

You're gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy cars

And then you'll see, you're gonna go far.

Cause everyone knows, who you are-are.

So live your life, ay ay ay......

intead of chasing that paper ( SPM paper) ,

Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay....

Ain't got no time for no haters ( Parents)

Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay.....

No telling where it'll take you. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay....

There you have it! Go party the night away, Go bang every stripper you can afford, Go clubbing! Go! Go! Go! You dont have much time left! its stealing your youth away from youuuuu....

note: square individuals who think Im serious about this shitty advice should just jump into a puddle and drown. Like right now.

I dont have no photoshopping softwares, how sad. But what I do have...

is MS paint. Nut sacks who underestimate this little grenade should think twice. It may seem simple, but the end product? You be the judge. lol..

The mascot wanna make love right nanana,
he doesnt wanna break up right nanana.

In memory of 911

2009-09-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to the NYPD,PAPD, NYFD, the people of New York City, the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, the people of Washington DC, people in Flight 93, and the people of Pennsylvania.

for they are now Angels working overtime.